I used to be an asshole.
I chose to be authentic.
I chose to rise.
I still choose to rise.
I have to choose to rise every damn day.
Being authentic is a choice. It's not who I am, it's a decision I make every morning.
Being an asshole is also a choice.
It's a crutch people use to bury their problems and smother them in sarcasm.
Being an asshole can still get you places, but it won't get you anywhere worth going.
I had had my asshole moments, shit I still do. Where I used that mindset as a crutch when I had a bitter outlook in life. Thinking it owed me something. I've been depressed. I've been alone. I've contemplated life at times (thats an entirely different blog; coming soon), so never do I ever claim perfection.
I actually hate fucking perfection. All I'm saying is, everyone has their moments.
Some just last longer than others. Some even end up consumings one persons entire life, and persona.
Over the last few years I was trying to be authentic person full of barbie minded bitches.
I was being held back, I was playing small.
I was succumbing to the masses basically.
It wasn't until I lost everything (and I mean fucking everything)
that I realized I never needed any of it at all.
I had the power of happiness inside me all along. I didn't need a man to make me happy. I didn't need girls nights out every week to make me happy. I didn't need a fancy salon to make me happy.
I needed me, myself, and I ( and Hadley of course)
So thats when I decided to play big.
I was holding myself back.
I shifted my mindset and my living arrangements. I shifted my friendships and stepped into this life I had always wanted. A life that was truly mine. A life that was created by being authentic.
One of my favorite quote is as follows:
"Be yourself and everyone else will adjust."
It's funny, I have used this often and find me friends often referring to it like
"Molly what is that one quote you always say?"
When you are you, truly YOU, the people in your life that appreciate you will stick around. Those who don't, won't. And thats okay. Let them go, they aren't serving you.
However I encourage you to cry over the losses. To deeply feel the pain. And then I encourage you to find the strength to move forward.
When you stop pretending to be someone you aren't,
(Like acountry girl. I used to pretend I was the biggest country girl there was)
when you stop doing things you don't agree with,
(Like drinking every weekend. Until last year I could count the times I had been drunk on one hand. Sure I enjoy some tequila occasionally now, but only with tacos and true friends)
or start standing up for things you believe in,
(I believe in girls having each others back, not gossiping behind them)
-thats being authentic.
Once you are truly authentic all the assholes run away.
(no like really, all I hear is fucking crickets out here)
Once you are truly authentic the universe aligns.
(no like really, shits happening for me that couldn't have 6 mo ago)
Once you believe yourself, and the story you are telling, that is where the magic happens. Thats when the heavens open, and doves fly.
But you have to untell your old stories first.
So I challenge you to stop, think, and evaluate where in your life have you been telling stories. Stories that aren't true. Stories that make you the victim, where you aren't taking any responsibility for your own fucking actions.
What steps do you need to take, what truths do you need to tell to become the most
Authentic Version of Y O U
Remember, thoughts become things so choose wisely.