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Her Metanoia Matters


First of all, what the hell is metanoia?

(n.) the journey of changing one's mind, heart, self, + way of life.

Secondly, no I don't just scroll on Webster's website looking for M words.

They find me. It's called manifesting.

But, metanoia, that pretty much sums it up. See ya.

Alright, alright. Clearly I am kidding.

However it does, perfectly. Over the last year I have been doing just that.

This journey didn't just start last year. It slowly began for me the day Hadley was born.

Subconsciously I think it evoked or awakened a feeling, this vibration, this THING in

me that had gone dormant.

As the years passed I started to see myself differently. I didn't love the woman I was

becoming. I was starting to see my marriage for what it WAS and not what I portrayed

it to be. I was becoming everything I said I hated. I was surrounding myself with

people who I had spent most of my life trying to get away from. I didn't see it fully

then, but looking back hinds sight is always 20/20. Now I am able to recognize my part

in the whole situation, and I have spent the last few months specifically healing,

apologizing and reaching out to those who I hurt along the way of my destructive path

I know I speak for a lot of moms when I say this, possibly even wives... but I feel like I

had lost myself. I lost the "who" I always thought I was destined to be along the way

of living. In my industry I talk to women daily. I hear these things constantly. As

women, as mothers, as someones wife we tend to put ourself second. We are natural

care takers and kick into auto pilot mode and begin taking care of everyone and

neglecting ourselves. In reality we need to be first. Think of the cup analogy. When

the cup is full, you are full. What is overflowing out of the cup is what you have to

offer. If there is nothing pouring out, you have nothing to give. You have to fuel

yourself first.

I learned this lesson the hard way. I learn every lesson in life the hard way. This alone

used to piss me off. I always wondered why I always got caught, why me, poor me.

Totally playing up that victim card. But now in 2018, the year I will turn 30 I have seen

that I have had to learn every lesson the hard way because God is using me as a vessel

to teach. I used to be an educator for Paul Mitchell Schools, and even considered

doing it for a high end chain salon I worked at for a short time in Hillard before. I

thought that it was my calling. It was so rewarding and fulfilling. However it got to a

point where I was longing for more, craving more. A mentor of mine once said when

you feel comfortable, bored, or like you are treading on still water its time for a change

and you need to step out of your comfort zone, because its time to move on. But I

loved teaching, I just didn't realize I was being called to teach differently. Not so

literal.

Looking back, I now can see I am doing exactly what I'm meant to be doing, for now.

I am meant to be blogging. I am meant to be doing LIVES. I am meant to be meeting

new women and talking to them daily in my chair. I am meant to be traveling to Cali to

network and expand my brand with extensions. I am meant to be mentoring and

training an apprentice. And every lesson I have learned has lead me to this moment.

To this life, this current lifestyle. Teaching is in my veins.

When I was fresh out of high school, as some of you know I went to Hocking College

for a brief moment, for Holistic Health. I had all intensions of using that degree to

become a wellness + life coach. I knew it then, had lost my vision, got sidetracked and

redirected to what I'm doing now. Coaching, in some capacity. (You guys just wait)

I have women constantly messaging me such meaningful, heartfelt thank you. Thank

you's for such sharing my journey and so much of myself publicly. This is why I know I

was born to learn lessons the hard way. So that I could teach them humbly.