I'm the mom I always said I wouldn't be
Shout out to all my mama's (daddy's) , and mama's to be out there.
This shits hard. Real hard. The running joke with Haddy's daddy the whole first year after our daughter was born was "Have children they say. It's worth it they say."
I'm not saying it isn't worth it. Its beyond worth it. I am saying though, it's one of the hardest jobs I've ever done. And it all starts with pregnancy and the shit people don't tell you about. (This is clearly all my opinion).
No one tells you that when you are pregnant sometimes the sickness doesn't end in the first trimester. Sometimes it last the entire time. I had to take multiple medications to keep from throwing up my guts every single day. They also don't tell you that "morning sickness" doesn't always mean only in the morning. It's more based on your eating habits. Your tricky tricky eating habits. It's a game. You can't eat to much, but if you don't eat enough then you are in this constant stage of nausea.
People also don't tell you how freaking thirsty you will be (or at least I was). I personally would get up in the middle of the night, ya know to pee for the millionth time, and I would chug a bottle of water (or five). I would wake up, put my feet to the floor and step on like a dozen empty water bottles about every other day. Couldn't. Get. Enough. Water.
I also never knew that you would loose about a dozen friends and gain a handful and loose them again when you become a mother. Whenever life changes, a season of it switches, when something big happens people flee. Change happens. People don't like change but it's inevitable. If I've learned anything from being a mom, and even more as a single mom... it's that people will show you who are they are if you just listen. Take people for face value and don't try to make them more than they are capable of being in your life. Sometimes you have to learn that the universe (God) will remove people from you life that you aren't strong enough to remove yourself. Life is never going to take away anything from you that's actually meant to be. Remember that.
Speaking of memory, I can't remember the last time I slept soundly. This is one thing everyone always warns you about as a mom. However I feel like we hear it but we don't listen. We're all like yeah yeah yeah that won't happen to me. But I mean it nap when they nap. Eat when they eat (because sometimes that's even forgotten somedays) and you end up peeing, when they pee because alone time is a thing of the past. You will never be able to go to the bathroom alone anymore.
Another thing I don't think you will fully understand until you have children of your own is the meaning of unconditional love. We strive so hard to find that in spouses, in best friends, and others, ourselves. However its something that I don't think can be taught. Nor do I even thing it's our purpose on earth. It's a gift from the universe (God) and its the most incredible, overwhelming sensation ever. As they grow it grows. But I think it's actually the reminder that unconditional love is where we came from , and its where were going. However our time spent here on earth is to learn about messy, sticky love. Full of heartbreaks and hardships.
It's so alluring watching the world through their eyes. Seeing life as they see it. Reliving things from your childhood as they experience it for the first time is priceless. This is one of my favorite aspects of being a mom.
Before I got pregnant I always said the follwoing:
I would never let my kids sleep with me.
I would only breastfeed.
I would never let my kids use tablets or watch tv too much.
I would only make my own baby food.
You know the list could on.
But let me tell you, Haddy STILL sleeps with me.
I breastfed for as long as I could until I switched to formula.
Haddy is currently laying next to me watching Peppa Pig on her iPad.
Although I had one of those awesome baby bullets I still bought alllll the Gerber foods for her.
I don't know why as women we get these ideas in our heads about what motherhood should look like. As If there is a right way or a wrong way to raise our children. To me, very early on it was only about love. Was my daughter loved. Was she surrounded by love. Did she feel only love. The love of your child, what works best for you and your family.. that's what matters. That's all that freaking matters.
So the next time you see a pregnant mama to be, be kind to her. Don't ask her how she plans to do anything. Don't even give your opinion on what she wants to name her baby. Just give her love.
This goes for any human, anywhere.. but we never ever truly know what someone is going through. Even if they have explained the situation to us. We can't possibly know how it's feeling to them. This world needs move kindness, less gossip. This world needs nice people, less haters. This world needs more love, less people with their own agenda's. This world needs more mama's.
Remember, thoughts become things; so choose wisely.