The Best Mommy Advice No One Gave Me
I'll Eat You Up, I Love You So
(Photo by Julie Jackson Photography)
So many of my girlfriends are entering motherhood right now.
It instantly brings me back to 4 years ago... The crib was put together, the diaper bag was bought, the books had been read. I thought I was ready. I felt prepared. After all I had been married 3 & half years and we had been planning for her arrival, she was no surprise to us. But no one can prepare you for the way your life changes. No one can prepare you for the lack of sleep. (Trust me that's the first thing everyone warns you about, but you can't fully grasp it until your a walking #mombie) No one can prepare you for labor. Not even if this is your second and you have been through it once. Every labor is different I hear. No one can prepare you for what you body goes through and how it will never be the same again. No one can prepare you for the look on your spouse's face when he sees his little girl for the first time, falls in love, and then looks at you with these puppy dog eyes & without even uttering a word I know he said "thank you"..
Thank you for the best thing that's ever going to happen to us. & man was he right. All the planning, prepping, and anticipating is MORE than worth it. However the best advice I can give new mothers,
that no one ever gave me is the following: ASK FOR HELP! Don't hesitate! When someone lends a helping hand take it! Especially in those first weeks after, let them. Let someone make a meal for you, clean your house, sit with the baby so you can take a shower! Don't feel bad. They are not lying when they say "IT TAKES A VILLAGE". Heck, 3 years in and I go out of my way to ask for help. Because lets be honest not much is getting done with a crawling, basically running before they walk, sassy, Taylor Swift dancing little girl. SCHEDULE DATE NIGHTS <3 When I was pregnant someone gave me amazing advice that has stuck with my and I really try to enforce it. "Marriage came before motherhood. To be a great mother you must be a great wife." My ex husband and I used to have monthly overnights at grandma's so we could have date nights. They never really consisted of big nights out we usually just order Chinese and stay in.
However they are much needed when a new baby comes. Its nice to take a break from the constant role of being parents & take time for your spouse to touch base.
I think had we started them sooner, a lot could have been salvaged in our marriage. But we let life, and the lack of making each other a priority get the best of us.
If you are single, date yourself. Make time for yourself. Alone time. Where you can be in your own thoughts, space, and energy. This actually is what keeps me sane now as a single mother. I am able to recharge and be the best version of my self overtime Hadley is home.
Prep Every night before bed I do a walk thru and put the house back together, I stock the diaper bag if i know we are going somewhere the next day. I try to lay out her clothes before bath time so that there is less fighting me afterwards while trying to get her dressed. I put all her toys back in their places so she will know where to find them in the morning. It all takes me about 10-15 minutes but it saves hours the next day!!!
And lots of headaches!
It allows me to start the next day in a positive mood not dreading the mess!
I'm no expert but this motherhood has taught me so much & it's as hard and rewarding as everyone says it is!
So ask for help, put time aside for your significant other & try to set your self up for success as often as possible!